


Outside is Frightful

by A Magiluna Stormwriter (ariestess)



Category: Birds of Prey (TV)
Genre: Bechdel Test Pass, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-29
Updated: 2006-12-29
Packaged: 2017-11-06 06:56:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/416037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariestess/pseuds/A%20Magiluna%20Stormwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A major blizzard and Helena's downloaded porn make for interesting conversation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Outside is Frightful

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BeccaDG](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeccaDG/gifts).



> Date Written: 29 December 2006  
> Series: Sequel to ["Oops!"](http://ariestess.livejournal.com/708200.html)  
> Spoilers: n/a, but this is post-series finale  
> Summary: A major blizzard and Helena's downloaded porn make for interesting conversation.  
> Archive: Frisked & Conquered exclusive .. anyone else, please link to the site and let me know…thanks!
> 
> Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of the WB, Warner Brothers Television, Tollin/Robbins, and DC Comics. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. . This site is in no way affiliated with “The Birds of Prey,” the WB, or any representatives of Dina Meyer, Ashley Scott, or Rachel Skarsten. This site contains stories between two mature, consenting adult females.
> 
> Author’s Notes: This was written based on [](http://beccadg.livejournal.com/profile)[**beccadg**](http://beccadg.livejournal.com/)'s prompt of [_"The weather outside is frightful, but inside it's so delightful."_](http://ariestess.livejournal.com/704379.html?thread=2033275#t2033275) It wasn't originally going to be a sequel to the earlier drabble, ["Oops!"](http://ariestess.livejournal.com/708200.html), but that's just how it ended up. It amuses me that I tried to write porn and got vaguely sorta pseudo-porn. Such is life with my muses.
> 
> Dedication: To my muses, because they never cease to amuse me…
> 
> Beta: This is totally unbeta'd atm, so all mistakes are purely my own.

  


_"Tonight, we're showing a continued increase in snow and looking at another six to ten inches. Tomorrow's forecast calls for more showers of mixed snow and rain. If you don't have anywhere important to be, I'd suggest staying home. And stay tuned for more on Blizzard 2006."_

Barbara stares at the television and worries at her lower lip. "Huntress, I'm calling you in. This weather's not fit for anyone to be out in. And if some idiot's going to fight the elements to steal something, he can damned well have it."

_"Oracle, I'm fine. It's just a little snow."_

She shakes her head. "Huntress, please. This isn't a request. I know you've got your Meta abilities, but I really have no desire to be nursing you back to health for being foolhardy. You're not the easiest of patients."

_"Pot, meet kettle. I'll be fine."_

Barbara sighs and throws up a hand in surrender. "Fine. Be that way. Stay out in the cold and get sick. I'll just be here, all by my lonesome, with nothing to do but wait for you…and watch these movies that were downloaded to Delphi." She leans back in her chair and quietly ticks off the seconds on her fingers.

_"Uh, Oracle? You don't want to be doing that."_

A decidedly undignified, evil grin spreads across Barbara's face. She moves the mouse to click on one of the files, just to see what it is. "And why not? _Biker Babes Kiss Ass_ sounds absolutely wonderful. Just the thing for a cold, quiet night like this. I mean, you're out on sweeps, Dinah's off in the Bahamas with Gabby, and Alfred's gone back to the manor to wait out the storm in style."

Nothing but silence on the other end of the comms. Or is that the faint sound of Helena's labored breathing as she's trying to come up with a witty comeback? Barbara clicks on the file anyway and waits for it to open. The opening frames cause her to nearly choke on her coffee.

 _"Oracle? Everything okay?"_ She sounds worried, and that makes Barbara smile despite the video she's been sucked into watching now.

"It's fi--" Barbara clears her voice as she watches the stunning redhead being fondled by the brunette in the video. "Everything's fine, Huntress. I’m just watching the movie while you're out on sweeps."

_"Which movie?"_

"I already told you, Huntress," Barbara replies, forcing her voice to sound normal, even tho' she's sure she sounds quite breathless. "I'm watching _Biker Babes Kiss Ass._ It's quite a cinematic achievement. How have you kept this one from m-- How in God's name did she do that?"

There's a knowing chuckle coming over the comms. _"It's not that hard, Oracle, just takes a little practice if you've never done it before. I could show you, if you're interested."_ And then the line goes quiet. _"Um, that didn't--"_

"And the stars of the movie? They look awfully familiar, don't you think?"

_"Yeah, well, you see, it's like this…"_

"If you don't come in from sweeps right now," Barbara replies huskily, ignoring Helena's protestations, "I'm going to have to sit here and take matters into my own hands. And I really do hate watching movies like this by myself."

 _"Roger that, Oracle."_ Helena's voice sounds oddly calm and steady, which makes Barbara feel all the more out of sorts. _"On my way home. ETA should be about fifteen minutes. And um, can we watch the movies on the big screen in my bedroom? The surround sound really kicks ass."_

"We can discuss that when you get home, but I was hoping for a fire in the fireplace."

* * * * *

It doesn't even take the full fifteen minutes for Helena to come stomping into the clocktower, flinging snow everywhere.

"Helena! Stop that! If you leave puddles on the floor, I'm putting the movies away and going to bed. Alone."

Barbara glances over to see Helena cleaning up her messes quietly. She can see the barely restrained strength in Helena's arms, and can't help but picture herself wrapped in those very arms. And then the images of what else those arms can do fills her thoughts.

"Um, Barbara?"

"Yes, Helena?" comes the question as Barbara feels a flush rising up her cheeks.

"I hope you weren't trying to be all secretive with your drooling," she replies and leans over to wipe at Barbara's chin. "Lust is sexy, but the drooling's kinda not so much."

Barbara can tell that Helena's trying not to laugh, and narrows her eyes. "Keep it up and you'll sleep alone tonight."

With a devious grin, Helena leans in to scoop up Barbara in her arms. She ignores the redhead's protests and continues to the couch. Getting comfortable, she eases behind Barbara and flicks on the television before pulling a blanket down over their laps. Barbara finds herself far too comfortable leaning against Helena, remembering a time when they were younger and first learning to live with each other.

"So what part were you surprised by before?" Helena murmurs in her ear, making Barbara realize they're actually watching the porn from Delphi. "Or would you rather try it all? I'm really pretty easy when it comes to sex, but you already know that."

Barbara just chuckles and leans back against Helena. "You're insatiable, Helena Kyle. Why don't we just watch the movie and see what comes up."

Several moments go by while they watch the movie, actually giggling over some of the stranger antics. "So, um, Barbara?" Helena finally asks. "Are you finally gonna let me do something other than just sleep with you tonight?"

"We'll see," Barbara replies enigmatically. "If the forecasts are right, we'll be holed up in this place for a couple of days. I'm sure we'll need to find something to keep ourselves busy during that time."


End file.
